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NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Fuming about his unpaid legal bills, Rudolph Giuliani has claimed that Donald J. Trump could never have garnered so many indictments without his help.
“Those indictments didn’t happen all by themselves,” the former New York mayor told Fox News. “It took a village, and that village was me.”
Giuliani said that it was “particularly hurtful” that he had not been remunerated for obtaining Trump’s indictments since they have been so pivotal to the former President’s burgeoning lead in the Republican Presidential primary.
“Thanks to those indictments, he’s leading Ron DeSantis by double digits,” Giuliani said. “Now, I’m not making a threat here, but maybe if Trump doesn’t pay me I go to work for DeSantis as his lawyer. Yeah, maybe I do that. After a pinch or two of Rudy magic, you just watch those indictments roll in.”
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