Indicting Hunter Biden Would Make Him Formidable Republican Candidate

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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—An indictment of Hunter Biden would immediately catapult him to the top tier of the Republican Presidential field, a new poll of likely G.O.P. voters indicates.

The poll reveals that, if indicted by the just-appointed special counsel, the President’s son would be in a virtual dead heat with the Republican front-runner, Donald J. Trump.

Davis Logsdon, who supervised the poll for the University of Minnesota, noted that Governor Ron DeSantis lags far behind, in third place, because of G.O.P. voters’ queasiness about supporting a candidate who has no indictments.

“If DeSantis goes into the Iowa caucuses unindicted, he’s done,” the pollster said.

Lashing out at the poll, Trump claimed that the “Biden Justice Department” was trying to “rig an indictment for Hunter” so that he could steal the Republican nomination.

“Hunter has done nothing to earn an indictment,” Trump said. “I’ve worked long and hard for all of my indictments. This should never be allowed to happen in this country.”

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