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30 Rock is the place where gloominess goes to die. This sitcom, famous for its chaotic and wacky episodes, was a hilarious rollercoaster ride through the madness of running a fictional sketch-comedy show.
Not to forget the equally hilarious side-cast and the huge number of guest stars such as Queen Latifah, Carrie Fisher, Peter Dinklage, Matt Damon, Nancy Pelosi, and Condoleezza Rice.
You can catch the episodes now on Peacock. Here are some of the most hilarious quotes from the show.
1.
Liz Lemon: “I took the money I was saving for my honeymoon and bought a cemetery plot.”
2.
Jenna Maroney: “Relationships are like sharks, Liz. If you’re not left with several bite marks after intercourse, then something’s wrong.”
3.
Erin (pointing to a mole on her cheek): “This is a beauty mark. But you thought it was funny to say God pooped on me.”
4.
Dr. Leo Spaceman: “What can you do? Medicine is not a science.”
5.
Jenna Maroney: “So I called him and I was like, ‘OJ, where are you?’ And he was like ‘Wait you’re alive? Then who did I kill?'”
6.
Rob Sussman: “Hello Elizabeth! Still think I am gayer than the volleyball scene in Top Gun?”
7.
Liz Lemon: “If I could press a button and five people in the world would die, but I’d get free cable for life, I’d do it.”
8.
Liz Lemon: “I saw my grandparents making love once, and I didn’t leave right away!”
9.
Liz Lemon: “I don’t care! I’ll start my own group! Rejection from society is what created the X-Men!”
10.
Jenna Maroney: “Oh, don’t be so dramatic. That’s my thing. If you take it away from me, I will kill myself.”
11.
Liz Lemon: “Did you really think I wouldn’t recognize my college futon, with its trademark absence of sex stains?”
12.
Abby *hugs Liz*: “Uhh! Our nipples just touched. Mine are so hard.” Liz Lemon: “Mine are different sizes.”
13.
Tracy Jordan: “Like any penis, Florida is very complicated.”
14.
Kenneth Parcell: “I don’t drink hot liquids of any kind. That’s the devil’s temperature.”
15.
Tracy Jordan: “I watched Boston Legal nine times before I realized it wasn’t a new Star Trek.”
16.
Jack Donaghy: “I like when a woman has ambition. It’s like seeing a dog wearing clothes.”
17.
Jack Donaghy: “I have to talk to Rachel Maddow. Only one of us can have this haircut.”
18.
Jack Donaghy: “What’s wrong, Lemon? When I see you chew your nails like that, it’s either you’re very anxious, or you handled some ham earlier.”
19.
Peter Hornberger: “When your kid throws a tantrum and holds his breath, you hold your breath, too. When you regain consciousness, believe me, he’s ready to leave the toy store.”
20.
Jack Donaghy: “Lemon, women your age are more likely to get mauled at the zoo than get married.”
21.
Liz Lemon: “Everyone I ever dated in high school turned out to be either gay or a girl dressed as a guy to get a journalism scholarship.”
22.
Tracy Jordan: “Tell her you want her to donate her body to science and you’re science. Tell her, Jack!”
23.
Kenneth Parcell: “I can talk to animals. Well not talk to ’em. I can take commands from them.”
24.
Jack Donaghy: “We all have ways of coping. I use sex and awesomeness.”
25.
Jack Donaghy: “I have a betting system based on horse penis size.”
26.
Tracy Jordan: “Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.”
27.
Jack Donaghy: “He certainly wasn’t a Swiss prostitute that Martha Stewart recommended to me.”
28.
Liz Lemon: “If I can’t poop in the streets, then why should my tax dollars pay for someone else to?”
29.
Jenna Maroney: “When I was pageantizing, my mother told me there’s only three things standing between you and winning: your breasts, and wanting it bad enough.”
30.
Dr. Leo Spaceman *before delivering a baby*: “Full disclosure, most of my experience is putting babies in women.”
31.
Liz Lemon: “I know Captain Burnett. He is a reasonable person. He compromises readily on movie choices and sexual positions.”
32.
Jenna Maroney: “You know what they say, boys. If you can’t stand the heat, get off of Mickey Rourke’s sex grill.”
33.
Cerie Xerox: “As a frequent receiver of drunk messages, they are not cute. Even when they’re from Liz.”
34.
Liz Lemon: “You need to wear a bra.”
35.
Dennis Duffy: “Dear Liz Lemon, while other women have bigger boobs than you, no woman has as big a heart.”
36.
Kenneth Parcell: “When the Parcells first came to America, they lived in a town called Sexcriminalboat.”
37.
Carol: “Stewart did not study dance at Carnegie Mellon to become a flight attendant to clean bathrooms.”
38.
Liz Lemon: “Sorry Jack, I have to take this. Yes, may I please speak to pizza?”
39.
Lutz: “What if there was a channel that’s just the sounds of people having a party so you could put it on when you call your parents.”
40.
Kenneth Parcell: “I feel about as useless as a mom’s college degree.”
41.
Dr. Leo Spaceman: “When is modern science gonna find a cure for woman’s mouth?”
42.
Peter Hornberger: “Last night I had sex with Paula, and neither of us was wearing a Walkman.”
What are some of your favorite quotes from 30 Rock? Let me know in the comment section below!
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