Watch It’s What Each Person Needs: Comforting the Loneliest People Online | The New Yorker Documentary

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[gentle music]

[Speaker] We live in a bit of a hard world sometimes.

I think it’s just important to think about how others feel.

Yeah. You have one very,

very amazing quality I’ve noticed already.

What’s that?

You’re very attentive.

You’re an incredible listener.

[Becca] Well, thank you.

I hope to, you know, one of the things that I seek

when I am embarking on an arrangement

is to be able to be there for the other person.

So if that’s one of the things that I could provide you,

I’d be honored.

Yeah. I’ve chatted with a lot of people on here.

But can’t say any other ones intrigued me like you.

So I was looking forward to this chat.

Thank you. Likewise.

I think there’s plenty of fish in the sea, as they say.

And that website can be a little alarming to get through.

But I really, you know, appreciate getting to know someone

face to face before we embark

on this possible arrangement together.

[phone ringing]

Were you ever married before coming to this website?

[Speaker] Yes.

And do you have kids?

[Speaker] Yeah.

How old?

[Speaker] One son. 22.

22. Wow.

So he is in college?

[Speaker] Yeah, he’s in university.

Is he studying something that makes you proud?

[Speaker] Yeah, he is doing business management.

And what’s being viewed here on the site?

Lonely people deserving companionship.

[Speaker] Well, when I meet people, that’s-

Well, that’s where the power comes in, right?

The power exchange comes in

because I get underneath your head.

I don’t care about myself.

Once I find out what makes you tick,

then I start pressing buttons.

But the thing is, is that have you met a single person

that you could really be yourself with?

This is what people don’t understand.

It’s what each person needs. You understand?

So, like, I find out what’s what you need,

not what somebody else needs.

What would you do to me?

[Speaker] All depends what you need to have done.

If I said try anything.

[Speaker] Well, you’d have to go on your knees first.

You’ll crawl up to me.

And I think you’re the kind of person that wouldn’t mind

having, like, a collar around their neck, actually.

The key thing is, you see, I read people.

I sense them.

And, you know, I could be wrong.

And do you think you deserve my trust?

[Speaker] Do you think you deserve my dominance?

It’s the opposite. You can’t talk that way to me.

No, no, no, no. That’s not how it works, princess.

You’re not in a power position here.

You’re testing me and you’ll be punished now

for trying to test me.

You won’t test me ever again.

Come over in Niagara.

Come spank me in Niagara.

[Speaker] [laughing] I don’t think I can spank you

in Niagara right now.

I have to pick up my kid in about 20, 30 minutes.

Oh shit. That’s a fast visit.

Well, I’m very intrigued.

[Speaker] You’re intrigued.

[Speaker] You’re a good person?

It’s very hard to find people like you here.

I’m happy to find you.

Yeah, me too.

You’re much better than the other person I was talking to.

You seem very genuine.

[Speaker] Are you a singer?

I’m in school right now, but I’m an artist and a student

and I work with the elderly.

I sing to the elderly. I’m a singer and I’m an actor.

Visual artist.

And I decided to, I just try and…

I’d love to figure out a way to meld

all of the things I wanna do.

So I’m exploring how to do that.

[water boiling]

[phone ringing]

[water trickling]

[indistinct talking]

Oh, hi.

[Speaker] Hello. How are you doing?

Good, how are you?

[Speaker] Oh, I’m fine. Who is it?

Hi Yvonne, it’s Becca.

[Yvonne] Hi, sweetheart.

How are you?

Again, you’re in the hospital?

Tues, uh, Wednesday.

I can’t see you. Are you blocking the camera?

[Speaker] I can hear you. Can you see me now?

[Becca] No.

Okay. Well, you can see my computer.

For some reason, it says no camera found.

Oh, that’s interesting.

Yvonne, love. I can’t see your face.

Can I see your face?

[Yvonne] Oh yes. I love you.

Yvonne.

[Yvonne] Remember me.

[Becca] I’ll never forget you, Yvonne.

[Yvonne] I lost everything. My husband, my house.

Is sold my house.

But you still have your memories?

[Yvonne] Oh god.

[Speaker] Yeah. I can see you on this computer.

[Becca] Okay. I can’t see you.

[Speaker] Yeah. Okay, just a second.

[Yvonne] Thank you for calling me.

When you come to Florida, call me right away.

I hope I look better than I look right now.

You look great.

Why do you think you look bad? [Yvonne snarling]

No, you look so… I’m pale.

You’re not pale. You know what?

You have melanoma, so you should stay out of the sun, kiddo.

Right? Yeah, that’s why.

Look at your necklace.

You’re so [indistinct]. Okay. I love you, baby.

You look great. I love you, too.

I’ll talk to you. You can call me.

I’ll call you Thursday. Okay. Bye, baby.

I’ll call you Thursday. Bye.

[indistinct]

Well, why don’t you tell me about you.

What have you been doing this week?

[Speaker] Well, you know, on Mondays

I talk to Sylvia, my sister.

I wish she was closer.

[Becca] Well, I live near you.

So can I drop off groceries this week?

[Speaker] You’re too kind.

You’re very kind, precious child.

Does your mother know that? How kind you are?

Oh, I know she does.

We know our children so well.

I miss your singing.

Do you wanna hear a song?

[Speaker] I do.

Okay.

Well, because I’m gonna come and give you some company

and bread on Friday, how about a song

from the musical company?

[Speaker] Oh, that sounds wonderful.

[upbeat music]

♪ Someone to sit in my chair and ruin my sleep ♪

♪ And make me aware of being alive ♪

♪ Being alive ♪

[person clapping]

[person laughing]

[indistinct talking]

[phone ringing]

[singing in foreign language]

You recognize it?

[Speaker] I don’t know it, but I love it.

Just go on.

[Becca chuckles]

[singing in foreign language]

Now you can sing with me when I teach it to you.

[indistinct talking]

[Speaker] It’s beautiful.

It’s gorgeous, darling.

Who’s there with you? I hear someone.

I’d love to meet-

[indistinct talking]

[Speaker] The lady who is with me, she loves it.

Well, what’s her name?

‘Cause when I come visit you,

I need to bring you both something.

Some rugelach for both of you.

What’s her name?

[Speaker] Oh, Juliet.

Hi, Juliet.

I’m Becca. It’s nice to meet you.

Most people call me Becca Willow,

but Edith knows me as Becca.

Awesome.

Yeah, we’ll get a lot of the insert stuff first,

and we’ll move into some of the following.

It’s kinda like a warmup.

[Speaker] Maybe the whole chair could go left.

[Speaker] Yeah, if you could move the whole chair

just like half a foot to the-

[Speaker] Left?

[Speaker] Yeah, that way.

[chair creaking]

[Speaker] Is this just visuals.

Do you want to- Yeah, it’s just visuals.

Just visuals. Okay, yeah.

I’m trying to get this while we have this up.

We have a little bit of the screen,

but that’s probably good. [indistinct talking]

[Speaker] She’s on that side.

[Speaker] Oh, I always forget.

[indistinct talking]

[phone ringing]

[Speaker] Like, I feel like, and I don’t know.

Like, I don’t know how you felt leaving that,

but I just remember, like, between the singing and, like,

chatting with Douglas online,

it just seemed like such a sad piece

that we sort of projected into the world.

[Speaker] Yeah. That was gonna be my next question.

I’m really curious.

What do you think this film is about?

See, this is when I’m like, I’m being recorded.

I don’t really wanna answer.

And that’s why I asked you to sort of give me the questions

ahead of time, because I am a very, like,

curated human being.

So I want to answer that honestly.

I need a minute, Sure

If that’s okay. Take your time.

I just think it’s always, you know,

if you’re someone who’s willing to, like,

make yourself vulnerable and put yourself out there

in an intensely personal way that you have, like,

I want to know what, from your point of view,

you think you are putting out there

and what this film actually is about, in your words.

Sure. But take your time.

[Speaker] Okay. Hmm.

So the film to me is about, hmm.

The film to me is about someone

who doesn’t know how to love themself,

and is trying to learn how through loving others.

[calm music]

[phone ringing]

[Becca] Hello.

[Speaker] Hi.

[Becca] Picking up on the first ring. I’m very honored.

[indistinct]

I know. I was waiting for your call.

I’m sorry you were waiting.

I appreciate your patience.

[calm music]

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