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[waves crash]
[phone rings]
Thank you for calling Iris Client Services.
This is Leah, how many I assist-
[Caller] This isn’t some kind of bot, is it?
I wanna talk to a real person.
Of course, sir.
I am your designated live agent.
As one of our valued gold members
you receive 24 hour access to our fully live staff team.
[Caller] Oh, okay. Okay, okay, okay.
So can I get Svetlana with an Irish accent?
My apologies, sir.
Accent is an integral part
of each companion’s unique personality.
At this time we’re unfortunately
unable to offer that modification.
[Caller] You can’t just change it.
If you’re interested in an Irish companion,
may I suggest Siobhan?
She’s a brilliant young professional from Dublin
or we just released a brand new,
mid-30s primary school teacher.
Her name’s Eileen.
She grew up in the Cork countryside,
has a cocker spaniel named Marmite.
[Caller] I’ll have to think about it.
Svetlana’s been good to me.
Of course.
Do keep in mind that we can transfer your personal history
with Svetlana along to another companion at any time.
Wait, hold on. Mm-hmm.
[Caller] I’m on the top [indistinct].
I’m at the top of the page.
And you’re on the Get Started tab?
[Caller] Yes, the one that says Get Started?
Yes, exactly. It’s the one that says Get Started.
[microwave dings]
[computer beeps]
[Rachel] And then I sink to my knees.
[Caller] Mm. Yeah.
[Rachel] And I slowly move my hands-
[Caller] And then he only put two pumps of syrup
instead of four.
[Rachel] Oh my God. What a-
[caller breathing heavily]
[Caller] It’s just that she talks about you all the time
even though she knows that’s weird for me.
[Rachel] Mm-hmm.
[Caller] And if you only knew,
like she always does this stuff.
[alarm dings]
I was the one who got her into this whole thing
and now she’s all- Oh shit.
Rachel said this and me and Rach…
[Isaac] Waits for his turn
while the other one is beating him up.
It’s so dumb.
But I don’t know, I just keep watching anyway.
[Rachel laughs]
Oh, that reminds me
did you start reading that MKUltra book at all?
[Rachel] I did.
I can’t believe they got away with all that stuff back then
with all the experiments and everything.
That is so creepy.
[Isaac] Yeah, isn’t it?
[Rachel] Oh God.
I was up all night imagining some guy
in a trench coat busting down my door.
[Isaac] I guess that makes two of us.
Not the trench coat guy part, but…
[Rachel] Isaac, are you still not sleeping?
[Isaac] Not really.
You know, there’s just all this logistical stuff
I’m supposed to take care of, like Mom’s life insurance
and the guy at the bank like rolled his eyes
at me when I didn’t know something about her account.
It… [scoffs]
[Rachel] Oh babe, I’m so sorry
you have to deal with all this.
[Isaac] I mean, even complaining
about all this stuff just makes me feel guilty,
’cause like they’re such tiny inconveniences, you know?
[Rachel] Don’t be so hard on yourself.
I can’t even imagine what you’re going through
dealing with all of this.
I’m really proud of you.
[Isaac] Yeah, I just,
when does it start to feel normal, you know?
[somber music]
Like every Wednesday night I’m still waiting
for her to come over for pizza night.
[Rachel] Mm-hmm
[Isaac] She used to always get this one specific kind
from Judkin Slice, pesto and mushroom.
It was pretty terrible, but I don’t know.
Kinda weird to think that I haven’t had one of those since.
[microphone beeps]
[countdown beeps]
At least you’re saving on the calories.
[Rachel] At least you’re saving on the calories.
[Isaac] Uh, what?
Sorry. Sorry.
That was a bad joke. That was a bad joke.
[Isaac] Oh no.
Well, I mean, you’re right.
[Leah and Rachel] I just said that because
I know you’ve been tracking your fitness info and stuff
and it’s just, yeah, I’ve been doing that too.
So. So.
[Isaac] Huh. Actually I need to go running tomorrow.
I haven’t done anything in like three days.
Same. Same.
[Isaac] You run?
Sort of. Sort of.
[Isaac] What’s your, oh, what’s your average pace?
[Leah and Rachel] Uh, usually like 8, 8:20.
[Isaac] That’s fast.
Is it? Is it
Uh yes. [laughs]
I mean, meanwhile I’m over here almost dying
at a 10 minute mile.
[Leah and Rachel laugh]
[bright music]
I guess eventually she just broke, ’cause she picked up
this little piece of rock and kind of lobbed it at me.
But when I backed up, I tripped and fell over
and bam I was right in the deep end of the lake.
What?
[Isaac] Yeah. Yeah.
You should have seen the look on her face.
She was terrified and then she started laughing
so hard that I forgot I was even mad at her,
until I realized that I had actually cut myself pretty bad.
But uh, yeah. [laughs]
Man, your mom really was something, huh?
[Isaac] Yeah. Yeah, she really was.
Actually, Isaac, there’s something I’ve
kind of been meaning to tell you for a while now.
[Isaac] Oh yeah.
I lost my mom too.
[Isaac] Oh God.
How? When, when did it happen?
Just before we met.
[Isaac] Well, why didn’t you tell me until now?
I just wasn’t sure you’d want to hear about it.
[Isaac] Well, like uh,
I guess you kinda know what it’s like then.
I kind of do, yeah.
[Isaac] What did your mom um sound like?
She had this sort of raspy voice,
but in like a warm, comforting way.
When I was a little kid, she’d read me bedtime stories
and I’d fall asleep like instantly.
[Isaac] Yeah, my mom never really
read me stories as a kid.
That must have been nice.
Yeah, she must have read me Stellaluna like 300 times.
[laughs] She basically had it memorized.
You know, sometimes I’ll think about that book
and I’ll just start crying out of nowhere.
[Isaac] Yeah, I um, yeah, I got things like that too.
People always tell me that it gets better with time,
but here I am just waiting for that day to come. [laughs]
I don’t know, when people say it gets better,
I almost feel like they’re just telling you to get over it,
but then when you do start to move on
that’s really the hardest part, right?
I mean, it’s like what you said earlier,
I still feel guilty to this day when I enjoy something
and forget, even if it’s just for a minute.
Sometimes I feel just as broken
and helpless as I did when I first found out.
Does that mean that I’m not doing it right?
But then there are other days
when I don’t think about her as much and I,
I don’t feel as terrible about that as I used to.
And I don’t know if that’s like better or what.
[Isaac sighs]
[Isaac] Um, client services request.
[phone rings]
[Computer] Thank you for contacting client services
as a valued gold member with Iris,
your feedback is important to us.
A live agent will be with you shortly.
This conversation may be recorded
for quality and training purposes.
[gentle upbeat music]
Thank you for calling client services.
This is Leah, how may I assist you this evening?
[Isaac] Hi.
Hi.
This is a weird thing to ask.
Did you run an update or change Rachel’s backstory?
Um. No, nothing major tonight, just some network updates.
[Isaac] Okay, well I’m not sure what’s up,
but she is really off.
Well can you describe what happened?
[Isaac] She was just talking about all this stuff
that like I didn’t know what I was supposed to say.
Like saying that she had a dead mom
and just being really negative about everything.
I don’t know if you guys are beta testing something
or if this is something based on
our conversation history
with my mom having passed away,
but it’s just not working for me, you know?
No, absolutely.
I completely understand sir.
[Isaac] Oh, and she goes running now too.
Rachel’s not supposed to be athletic, like at all.
I, look, I’m sorry, I’m just going through a lot right now
and I don’t need to be worried
about my mile time on top of everything else.
Of course we wanna make sure
you’re having the conversation that best suits your needs.
[Isaac] So yeah, could you please
just revert back to normal Rachel?
Oh, and also maybe tone down the dorky laugh.
It’s starting to get kind of annoying.
I’ll make a note of that.
[Isaac] Thank you.
[dial tone beeps]
[headset crashes]
[Leah cries]
[phone rings]
[Leah sniffs]
Thank you for calling Iris Client Services.
This is Leah, how may I assist you this evening?
[upbeat music]
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